I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
