Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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