i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Randomize