I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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