Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
It's rum buckets o'clock
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize