its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
