Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
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I need you to use more vowels.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize