awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Randomize
