Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
