She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
