he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Randomize
