I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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