Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
But break dance skills will only take you so far
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
