Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
