It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Randomize
