they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
