he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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