i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Randomize
