Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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