hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
She's the barista slut.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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