Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Randomize
