How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
Please, let me fuck your mom
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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