Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Randomize
