I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Randomize
