I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
wow bdsm is so cute
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
