Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
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