Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
