It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
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