Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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