I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize