I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
dude i'm inner monologue high
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Randomize
