Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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