and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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