The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
Randomize
