he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
