So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
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