I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
