Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
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