you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
