I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
Randomize
