I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I could make wine with my vomit
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Randomize
