oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
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