I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize