I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
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