"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
