Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize