We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
Randomize
