It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Randomize
