Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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