next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Randomize
