Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Randomize
