Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
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