the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
