Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
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