I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
