if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
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