i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
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