The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
My feet surprised me
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