Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
